It was an eerie night in the middle of frigid winter when it all happened. There was a desire, but no one had anticipated it. Every year thousands of children write letters to Santa Claus because they believe in the Christmas Miracle. Eight winters ago, Santa delivered an early Christmas present to our household. The story began about nine years ago when I had drafted a letter to Santa out of faith and safely hid it under the Christmas tree like all the other kids do, pleading for an extension. I tried to be exigent and could not hinder my feelings any longer, it was about time.
I was scheduling notes, keeping track of dates every month. I had missed my periods; it was the second year into the harsh winters in Canada. At the doctors appointment, the doctor had affirmed with the blood test that we were pregnant. I couldnt be happier and informed our families at Christmas about the new arrival in the family soon. It was the miracle sent from the above, just around Christmas. My belief was materializing, I had been keeping a letter under Christmas for the last four years like just like other children. We planned to deliver at the Toronto General Hospital.
Seven weeks into the pregnancy, the doctor took another blood test and doubted something was wrong with me, my HCG levels were going down fast, she sent me for an early ultrasound to check the heartbeat. I recollect the night at the clinic, the radiologist couldn't find a heartbeat. The following day, I was scheduled in the doctor's office to inform me, I was having a miscarriage. The baby was not in the uterus but outside the walls. This news had broken my heart, I was hoping to be pregnant for a very long time. My firstborn was now seven years old and the gap between the two was already huge. The specialist examined the alternatives of going under a medical procedure or endure it. I had to repeatedly visit the clinic to check my HCG levels. I scrolled through the internet every day to search about miscarriages and what alternatives were left for me. At that point, I was baffled, and the surgery was the last option for me, I wanted it to happen naturally. I was devastated and sobbed each day since the time I heard the news.
One night, around ten weeks in February, I had that awful experience of going through a natural miscarriage. I was rolling on the floor with terrible pains in my stomach. The pain started sometime at 8 pm and continued till 1 am and then it was all over. I was weak and miserable. I visited the doctors office for the next consecutive days to check my blood levels. The past three months began with excitement and ended with heaps of sorrow, I was mourning day and night. I was distressed about the blessing given to me, which was taken away so soon.
The doctor had told me; it will take time to be pregnant again. While processing it through, I informed one of my friends, about what all happened to me. She knew I was desperate and mentioned, I will have a child that very year. At that point, I hardly had any hopes, I was completely torn. Around the end of April, I missed my periods again. I imagined it to be the informalities that had messed up my body. I waited and bought a home kit over to test after 2 weeks and was ecstatic to see those two red lines. I couldnt believe it; I was over the moon. This time, we kept it a secret and waited for three months before we announced. I believe our puppy for lucky for us, he arrived in the family in early April and I conceived by the end of the month.
My body was changing every day, I had lost appetite and experienced morning sickness. Soon, we bought a new house and moved to another city. The doctors changed, seeing my history, my ultrasound was pushed to 20 weeks and we didnt know if we were having a boy or a girl. I wanted a baby girl so badly and I had thought of my second babys name to be Ayanna. I always addressed my baby in the belly as Ayanna. At 20 weeks, during the ultrasound, we discovered, we were having a boy instead. I cried that day; I wasnt happy to hear. I always wanted a pair of a boy and a girl in the family.
The next few months flew by rather quickly, we were expecting our second child, and we had a dog. We were worried about the delivery, we needed help. My surgery was scheduled in the middle of January and as the days drew closer, I started to worry more. Both of our side of parents couldnt come due to the winter season. I was stressed about my elder son, my dog, and my husband, who was going to take care of everything? I would be in bed with a Cesarian section and a small baby to take care of. The stress pushed me into the water break before 36 weeks.
It was the night without the moon, I had finished cleaning up the kitchen and we all gathered in the family room to watch movies, as I laid on the couch, I felt a desperate need to pee. I rushed to the washroom and realized my water had broken so we hurried to the hospital. It was almost midnight; the doctors took me in and proclaimed that they could not help me because they were not equipped for emergencies as I was not even 36 weeks. They proposed going to another hospital which was far. While I was under observation, my husband approached our relatives about the emergency and requested if they could take our firstborn in for the night. I was offered an ambulance ride to the big hospital and my husband followed us behind.
The thought of being in the ambulance with two strangers was terrifying me but they diverted my mind. As we arrived at the hospital, I was rechecked by another doctor, he suggested to wait as I was under 36 weeks; they felt the baby was safer in the womb. I had my first child by an operation, and I was scheduled for another surgery in a month. They cleared to only operate on me if I had labor pains, fever, or developed an infection. It was the Holiday season and the doctor on duty was going on vacation to celebrate Christmas, I was ordered to stay in the hospital for the next 7 days. The idea of staying in a hospital without my family was killing me. They moved me into a major room which should be involved 3 additional patients yet there was one in particular who moved out a couple of hours after I showed up. We didnt need a private room at that point since we had enough privacy in that room. I was expected to stay in the hospital for a week without my son, my dog who was just neutered and had his stomach cut open. I was carrying a life inside me, yet I was more stressed over the two remaining at home, I adored them profoundly. I was distraught and cried a lot. At night, my husband arrived with my son, we sat for a couple of hours and had pizza together. He brought a small DVD player with lots of DVDs for me to pass my time.
I cant fail to remember that night, I was in complete isolation, lying in the bed, needles jabbed in my hand and fluids running through my veins, all alone in an enormous room. I attempted to occupy my mind by viewing movies. Cheddar as such gives me inconvenience, I had an abrupt agony in my stomach and felt uncomfortable. I pressed the red button on the right side of my bed and requested the nurse to fetch me a cup of steaming hot water. Husband dear had brought caraway seeds earlier; he knew my requirements. I swallowed some seeds with hot water and laid back to watch the movie. I felt better, it was about 7:30 pm. An hour after having it, I felt distressed again, so I pushed that red button again requested another cup of water. After having two cups of water, I sensed a need to urinate. I got up delicately, figuring out how to securely go on the left side to lift my body, put my left hand out safely, and afterward held the pole to stand. I walked some twenty steps to the washroom, emptied my bladder, and then laid back again. The next, I faced a series of washroom breaks, I found myself strolling with the pole. The pain in my stomach wasnt disappearing, it was now 12 past midnight and the pains now felt like tremors hitting my belly. I pressed that red button one more time and described to them that it wasnt the gas that was bothering me but something else.
The nurse came rushing and transferred me to a wheelchair, the pole still hanging by my side. She promptly ran a scan on me and declared, I was already in labor. She transferred me to the doctors office and requested to call my husband, it was now 1:30 am. My husband and son were sleeping when I called, I asked them to rush as I could now deliver anytime. At that point, I was rotting in pain, I had started screaming loudly when the doctor jabbed a needle in my backbone. She had given me anesthesia before operating on me, the pain had now subsided. The doctor on duty looked like Julia Roberts, I swear. She was so beautiful and kind, she distracted me until my husband arrived and we heard the cries of our little infant soon. Our little bundle of joy, Ayan had arrived in our world.
All my agony and distress lessened by the appearance of our second-born, Ayan Raj on 20th December just in time to celebrate Christmas together in Canada. In spite of the fact that I was against having two young men yet can't clarify how much satisfaction this little man has brought into our lives. His kind and charming personality steal a piece of my heart several times a day. Ayan is his daddys bro partner and my companion in the common interests that we share. My life has blossomed since youve arrived my little man and I look forward to making loads of unforgettable memories with you in the future. May you always remain compassionate, caring, and learn to give more! I love your sense of humor that you adapted early in life; you turn my small silly moments into delightful memories. You surely know how to play with your words to thrill the other person. The circle of life that began a year ago with happiness, ended with mourning and began again to bring the best Christmas present ever for me and my family. Im glad, Santa brought you early for me and Ill always believe in Christmas magic! Were grateful for the son we are blessed with and ask for his long life filled with happiness and abundance! I love you a lot Ayan, wish you a very happy 8th birthday!